Teen Anxiety: Signs to Look For and How to Start the Conversation
You're not imagining it
If your teen seems more on edge lately, you're far from alone. In CDC data from 2021–2023, 1 in 5 U.S. teens ages 12–17 reported anxiety symptoms in the past two weeks. And nearly 1 in 3 adolescents will meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder at some point by age 18.
The good news: anxiety is one of the most treatable mental health conditions in young people. And parents are often the first to notice that something has shifted.
Some worry is normal. Teens worry about tests, friendships, how they look, and what comes after high school. That kind of worry comes and goes, and it fits the situation.
Anxiety is different. It's worry that is intense, sticks around for weeks, feels out of proportion, and starts to get in the way of school, friendships, sleep, or family life. Your teen may even know the fear doesn't make sense and still be unable to switch it off.
Signs to look for
Anxiety in teens often doesn't look like "worry." It can look like irritability, stomachaches, or a sudden reluctance to do things they used to enjoy. Look for patterns that last two weeks or more, not a single bad day.
Emotional signs
Constant "what if" questions or needing repeated reassurance
Irritability, snapping, or anger that seems out of nowhere
Perfectionism, or melting down over small mistakes
Feeling on edge, restless, or unable to relax
Panic episodes: racing heart, shaky, short of breath, feeling like something terrible is about to happen
Physical signs
Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or nausea with no clear medical cause
Trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping far more than usual
Muscle tension, fatigue, changes in appetite
Behavioral signs
Avoiding places, people, or activities: parties, practice, driving, ordering food, phone calls
Asking to stay home from school often, or calling to come home midday
Procrastinating on assignments out of fear they won't be good enough
Spending long stretches alone in their room
School and social signs
Dropping grades, missed assignments, or more absences
Pulling away from friends or quitting activities
Intense worry about what others think, or replaying conversations
Digital signs
Checking their phone compulsively, or anxiety when they can't
Late-night scrolling that cuts into sleep
Strong reactions to group chats, likes, or being left out online
When to act right away. Anxiety can overlap with depression. If your teen talks about hopelessness, being a burden, not wanting to be here, or self-harm, don't wait. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) for guidance, or call 911 if there is immediate danger.
How to start the conversation
You don't need the perfect words. What matters most is that your teen walks away feeling heard rather than judged or fixed.
Pick a low-pressure moment. Many teens open up more side by side than face to face: in the car, on a walk, cooking dinner, or late at night when they drift into the kitchen. Avoid starting right after a conflict or in front of siblings.
Lead with what you've noticed, not a label. Describe specific things you've seen, without diagnosing.
"I've noticed you've had a lot of stomachaches before school lately. How are things going?"
"You seemed really stressed after practice this week. Want to talk about it?"
"I might be off, but you've seemed weighed down lately. I'm here if you want to talk, now or whenever."
Listen more than you talk. Ask open questions, then let silence do some work.
"What's that like for you?"
"What part feels the hardest?"
"Do you want ideas, or do you mostly want me to listen right now?"
Validate the feeling, even if the fear seems unrealistic. "That sounds really stressful" lands far better than "There's nothing to worry about." Validating doesn't mean agreeing that the danger is real. It means you get that the feeling is real.
Things to avoid
Minimizing: "You'll be fine," "Just relax," "Everyone gets nervous"
Comparing: "When I was your age..."
Jumping straight to fixes or lectures
Pushing for answers when they've shut down
If they say "I'm fine" and walk away, that's okay. You've shown the door is open. Try again another day, and consider a text. Some teens find it easier to write than to talk. Keep showing up in small, ordinary ways: rides, snacks, a show you watch together. Connection builds the trust that makes the bigger talk possible.
Supporting your teen day to day
The goal isn't to remove every source of anxiety. It's to help your teen learn they can face hard things and get through them.
Support without over-accommodating. It's natural to want to rescue: calling the teacher, letting them skip the party, ordering for them. Short term, that brings relief. Long term, avoidance teaches the brain that the feared thing really is dangerous, and anxiety grows. Try pairing empathy with confidence: "I know this feels really hard, and I believe you can handle it."
Break big fears into small steps. If school is overwhelming, the first step might be attending the first two periods, not a full day. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.
Protect the basics. Sleep, regular meals, movement, and time outdoors all affect anxiety. A consistent wind-down routine and phones charging outside the bedroom at night can make a real difference.
Practice calming skills together. Slow breathing (in for 4, out for 6), grounding by naming things they can see and hear, or a short walk can take the edge off in the moment. These work best when practiced on calm days, not just mid-crisis.
Model how you handle stress. Teens watch how you cope. Saying "I'm nervous about this meeting, so I'm going to take a few deep breaths" shows that anxiety is manageable and nothing to hide.
When to get professional help
Reach out for professional support if anxiety has lasted more than a few weeks, is getting worse, or is interfering with school, friendships, sleep, or family life. You don't need to be certain it's an "anxiety disorder" first. Asking for an evaluation is a reasonable step, not an overreaction.
You'd be in good company: in recent CDC survey data, more than half of U.S. teens said they had talked with a health care professional about their mental health in the past year.
Where to start
Your teen's pediatrician or family doctor. They can rule out physical causes, screen for anxiety and depression, and refer you to a therapist.
The school counselor or psychologist. They can support your teen during the school day and help with accommodations if anxiety is affecting attendance or grades.
A licensed therapist. Look for someone experienced with teens who uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), including exposure-based approaches. CBT is the most well-studied treatment for teen anxiety. Your insurance's member line can give you in-network names.
Local support: Kairos Constructive Counseling
If you're in the Waupun, Beaver Dam, Fond du Lac, Ripon and surrounding areas, Kairos Constructive Counseling has four therapists who offer counseling for teens dealing with anxiety, both in person and virtually. Read their profiles to find the best fit for your teen.
Therapist | Credentials | Profile |
Alayne Stelsel | MA, LPC | |
Amanda Draxler | MS, LPC | |
Krystle Schmitz | MA, LPC | |
Leah Koenigs | MA, LPC |
To schedule, call 920-212-3970, email office@kairosconstructive.com, or visit W7185 Hwy 49, Waupun, WI 53963.
Involve your teen in the choice. Let them help pick the therapist and know it's okay to try someone else if the fit isn't right. A teen who feels some ownership is far more likely to engage.
Find support for yourself, too. Parenting an anxious teen is hard, and your own calm is one of their best resources. Parent support groups, a therapist of your own, or simply talking with other parents can help you stay steady.
Resources
Resource | What it's for | How to reach it |
Crisis support for teens or parents, any time | Call or text 988, or chat online (24/7) | |
Text-based support when talking feels too hard | Text HOME to 741741 (24/7) | |
Information, resources, and peer support for parents and teens; not a crisis line | Call 1-800-950-6264 or text "NAMI" to 62640 (Mon–Fri, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. ET) | |
Peer support from young people who've been there | Via NAMI's Help Line page | |
Free peer support groups for family members | Find a local NAMI chapter |
If your teen is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
You don't have to get it perfect
You won't always say the right thing, and that's okay. What your teen will remember is that you noticed, you asked, and you kept showing up. In CDC data, about two-thirds of teens say they get parent support a lot of the time. That steady presence matters more than any single conversation.
Anxiety is common, it's treatable, and with support most teens learn to manage it well. Start small, start today, and lean on the resources above when you need them.
This post is for general information and isn't a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.
Sources
Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health, CDC (updated Aug. 2026)
Any Anxiety Disorder, National Institute of Mental Health
NAMI Help Line, National Alliance on Mental Illness
Meet Our Team, Kairos Constructive Counseling
Teenagers often experience stress and emotional struggles that adults may not immediately recognize. I especially liked the emphasis on listening without judgment. Learning about teen anxiety counseling South Ogden can also help parents understand the support available to their children.